Why I Gave Up at Least Prophesied Billions and a Business/Nonprofit/Micronation Empire to Raise My Future Children as a Former Scapegoated Child | MindHealingHaven.Blog
Since I was thirteen, I dreamt of a business empire until June 2016. However, I waffled on varying from the prophecy of that destiny until recently.
Introduction
So, today I am making a much more personal post on the blog. It is about my path from a hurt parental narcissist scapegoated teen to a self-loved and self-validated adult. It all started way back on August 29, 1998, the day before my 13th birthday. That was the day I decided I wanted a music record label. I never thought about the life-changing effects of that decision back then. In fact, if I had known then, I probably would have never embarked down this path…Nope! I wouldn’t have embarked down this path, lol. But it got me to where I am today, so I am glad I took the path of destiny.
The Backstory of the Initial Dream
When I was a child, I loved music. I loved to sing, I loved to dance, and I dreamt of a music career initially alongside being an entrepreneur, before the days of Diddy, Dre, Suge, Master P, Jermaine Dupri, and other hip hop music moguls. I’m talking in kindergarten in 1990. That was the dream before there was a pathway for it. I was always ahead of my time, I guess.
By age 13, I could sing well, but was too self-conscious to dance well; however, I still enjoyed it. I also enjoyed a certain VH1 biography show known as Behind the Music by age 12. By then, the hip hop moguls beyond Russell Simmons were in full blossom. I had an example of how to do my dream then, and by 13, I had decided that this was the career path I wanted. I wanted to be an artist and mogul like Diddy and Dame them, lol.
The Doomed Entrepreneurship Years
From there, I added a clothing line, BlackRaven Clothing, a beverage company, BlackRaven Beverages, a modeling agency, BlackRaven Modeling Agency, and that was it for the next five years, from age 13 to 18. The name of the record label was to be BlackRaven Entertainment, so that is why it was BlackRaven this or that. So I started studying these industries at age 13 and have never let go of studying them. I don’t binge content on them the same way I did in those teen years, but every few years I study them again to catch up on them. I still have a passion for them, though my goals have changed greatly.
At 18, I decided to forgo college, deciding that you cannot learn entrepreneurship in school, which was right. (They don’t even teach sales, after all, in business schools for some dumb reason.) I felt that college would always be there for me, but the opportunity to do entrepreneurship and to fall on my face several times learning entrepreneurship wouldn’t always be there. These assumptions were right. (I am going back to college to finish my Bachelor’s degree and have an Associate’s degree in web design, already. I will be getting several more degrees and certifications too, eventually.)
From there, I started BlackRaven Entertainment with a cousin as the artist and his friend, and another family friend of his as a music producer for us. The cousin I taught to songwrite and rap from scratch and went on to be offered a contract by Universal Records, actually. I had a little studio set up in my dining room of a family-owned house (my grandparents owned it) and lived with my older brother and older cousin, too, so I only had to work a part-time job.
I then added an art company called Lecramb Artwork, and a web company teaching the music industry to independent musicians called IndieMusicLounge.Com, which started as a blog on Myspace (to date myself, further!). That was it for several years. However, my parents weren’t happy with my not going to college. No one was happy about it. Nobody hardly believed in my goals and dreams, actually, until recently. My grandparents came around first, just wanting me to be happy and liking that I was trying to build something for the family to be plugged into. That was the dream. The goal was to give every family member their own business once I extended my plans to a whole Virgin empire-like holding company with dozens of companies.
My parents sabotaged these ventures in various ways, bankrupting me several times, and I developed bipolar disorder after years of their narcissistic abuse. I had suffered a lot from them growing up, from parentification, to a lot of verbal and emotional abuse, and also abandonment, and since not going to college, parental rejection. Their lack of love growing up, except when I performed uncanny tasks (like getting into the Milwaukee Art Museum and being a published poet by the end of senior year), fueled an unknown desire to be validated through uncanny feats to get my parents’ love, which I didn’t know was never to come.
I wanted my parents’ approval I had lost by not going to college. So the bigger my success and the more right my actions, I subconsciously must have thought, the more their validation and approval would be. This would lead to perfectionism, too, and my eventually building an enormous empire to build with various celebrity arts and sports careers.
Disability
After nearly 6 years of laboring with failed entrepreneurial tries, I finally had two ventures beginning to cash flow. One was a writing company called Lecramb Writes Ink, which my mother, who wanted to be a writer, got jealous of and bankrupted me, and it by charging rent as soon as money started to come in and raising the rent every month until I was basically just working to pay her.
She never came around to accepting that I have control of my life and decisions, and she plays no part in them. She was angry that I was an entrepreneur and not a graphic designer or public speaker like she had wanted. My dad was no better. He just wanted me to have a nine-to-five job working for anyone doing anything.
The second venture starting to cash flow was B-Marcel.Com. It was a media site of things I liked. It had online games, VEVO music videos, blogs, podcasts, and such, all the way back in 2011. I was a pioneering influencer, actually. The business model they are using now I, and those back then in the 2000s, were coming up with out of thin air. All these years later, I will be returning to that business model, again, too. B-Marcel.Com had an average time on site of 2 hours and 4 minutes, a bounce rate of 1.76% and 3.03 million monthly visitors when I failed with it due to my parents causing bipolar episodes to derail my progress with it, and Lecramb Writes Ink.
I was finally sunk. I decided that disability had finally forced its way onto me in June 2011, and I had to file for FoodShare for the first time. I was already on Medicaid, too. I never look down at these programs because I knew prophetically (I’m a prophetic medium) from myself and several others that I could build such an empire I was questing for, and I had a major success under my belt, letting me know eventually I would return to business and dominate it…or so I thought.
It is now 2025, and as of April 2024, I was finally placed on SSI after 7 other attempts, counting the retries after being turned down. This time, it was accepted right away. I was homeless when I applied due to my parents again, and I was living in a group home when I was finally accepted on SSI.
Teaching Dream is Born
In 2016, my dad kicked me out twice in two months, making me homeless again for the third or fourth time. In May 2016 after a bipolar episode (he kicked me out both times without letting me get my biplar medicines because he was mad that a YouTube tarot business was starting to take off (I was gaining 52 new subscribers daily on average in just my third month doing it on YouTube), a staffer at the Milwaukee Mental Health Complex told me that he thought I’d make a good teacher.
I went home and thought about this for a few weeks, and decided I’d rather do that than the now hundreds of company ideas I had come up with, because I was a Taoist and believed in simplicity in life. And, I was watching 224 documentaries a year on mainly business and social subjects, and I saw business as the ultimate evil and money chasing as its fuel.
I decided to be a teacher. But I didn’t know how yet. I thought about teaching in schools like Steve Wozniak (a then personal hero) did. I had read his autobiography when dreaming up technology companies and deciding to go to college for technology degrees. I thought he was the ultimate person. I thought that about other inventors who got taken advantage of, too, like Tesla and Paul Allen of Microsoft. They were my heroes because they had skills and success without selling out. I wanted to be like them, not Edison, Jobs, and Gates. I knew I’d lose a lot of money from it, though.
Though I decided on teaching in June 2016, I had no idea what to teach or where to teach, or how to teach. A psychic friend and prophetess had told me I was in school for technology, not teaching, so I figured eventually that being a school teacher was out, at least at a brick-and-mortar school.
Then, in 2019, I happened upon Udemy while looking for a Java coding course. I came up with the idea of an Udemy academy that summer. A psychic friend I still work with who lives in Europe got really excited and said, “Brandon, I have to tell you, out of all the companies you have ever asked me about, this is the one you are supposed to do!”
So that part was settled. I would own an online academy selling courses through Udemy. I got mentors who were the bestselling instructors on Udemy and asked them basically what advice they had and how they’d get started if they could do it all over again, and everyone answered me. They were really down-to-earth. They kept on as long as I had questions. Then the final thing was figuring out what to teach.
By this point, I had read 1100 nonfiction books, plus, and watched thousands of documentaries, read dozens and dozens of studies on, and read whole blogs on a variety of topics, while disabled, as I was mostly preparing for a return to building an empire someday, while disabled this whole time, still. Since psychic people told me to build an empire, I felt the Gods wanted me to do that AND teach, still. But I just really wanted to be a teacher and have a simple Taoist life.
Waffling Between Two Paths
This is where the waffling began. I was still running business ideas by my psychic friend in Europe, and he was saying that many of them would work, and I had added social benefits to them and became a social entrepreneur, too. So, I felt very bad about not wanting to build the empire, because I felt the Gods wanted it and that it would be selfish not to help all of the people of the world with the money, ventures, and nonprofits I had planned and had been told would greatly heal the world.
I still didn’t know what to teach, though for years and years, until April and June 2025, actually. One day, I was brainstorming a venture that could get me off of government assistance and back living on my own and not in a group home, and more, and I came up with Darkness to Destiny (this venture). It was just Darkness to Destiny, the site back then, and was solely focused on the psychology topic teachings, though.
In May of this year, I came up with an idea while in the mental hospital to teach on the subjects that people pray for the most. I had spent years as a without-walls minister and prophet, ordained through an ordination mill, but taking it seriously (I am in Bible college getting ordained the right way, now). I volunteered online doing prayer intercession (and still do) for years before that site stopped doing it (I started back this summer at another site).
I was able to realize that people only pray about spirituality, psychological/mental health, relationships, health and wellness, personal finances, career/businesses, mainly. I later added teaching occult knowledge, too, because I feel everyone should know the truth of the world to be successful in it. That is where I am today. I ran this venture past my European reader (several versions of it), and each time he said it would be successful with some hiccups, I eventually fixed.
A Final Path is Chosen…
Finally, I had a path I agreed with morally and ethically that would do no harm. The ultimate social entrepreneur’s venture in my eyes. I could teach, work from home, and, according to mentors, make good money working under 20 hours a week, some said as little as 4–6 hours a week when not making courses or writing books under deadlines.
What’s more, none of the vast knowledge from business to psychology to spirituality to the occult and more would be wasted this way. I could cover it all over my lifespan, well, much of it with helpers/partners, at least. And my favorite part about this path is that I can spend much of my workday reading, studying, learning, and practicing things. I felt that learning and practicing would be the ultimate job for me, as I could do that all day long, even with a disability.
So, as of this past week, a journey that started at age 13 ended at age 40! I will no longer be planning a business empire and will no longer be waffling on purpose. I see why God took me down this path, though. Nothing wasted, nothing missing. I know how to run just about any big or small business or could within months' time, but now I know why one shouldn’t build a business empire and why the world doesn’t need another big business venture, most of all. A YouTuber cosigning what I said under a YouTube video once said, “A smart person knows how to build a weapon, a wise person knows why not to build that weapon.”
That statement has stuck with me for over a decade, nearly. Since 2000, psychics and prophets have told my family members and me that when they asked about me that I was very wise and they should listen to me. I never felt it before this year, truthfully. But I look back at the choices I made personally now, and I see it.
I see it in the advice I gave, in the prophecies and the prayers dispersed, and the care I’ve given others, too, now. I was the last person to realize I was wise. I just think of other wise men now, realizing that. They were offered the worldly positions and gold and silver of their days, too. But they all chose to teach instead. Buddha, Lao Tzu, Jesus, Socrates, Plato, and others the world over, all throughout history, turned away from earthly treasure for the true eternal treasure — knowledge, wisdom, and understanding!
Hopes of Being Mr. Dad
So, that is how I got here, now. I was told I could, at least, be a multi-billionaire with trillions in assets under my control, if not a trillionaire someday, by prophecy and psychic readings, and I turned it down. The biggest reason I turned it down, recently, wasn’t the above-mentioned reasons, though. I am newly forty this year, as of August, and still childless, as I look to get back to working officially in the coming weeks. I wanted to be a dad since kindergarten, too. In school, I was always the dad playing with all of the girls when they played house. We always want what we never had, I guess. (My dad abandoned us early into my first year or two, choosing work over us.)
That was just it with me. I realized, due to my European friend, that I’d have no time for family, and I’d be choosing the world’s good over my own family’s good, and I couldn’t do that to another generation of my family. I decided that the generational curse will die with me in my family life. I can work from home, work a few hours a day or week, and make a good living that will outlive me if I have the type of success that my Udemy mentors had/have, and I can be a stay-at-home dad.
That was a secret lusting of mine for some time, too. To be a stay-at-home dad. I wanted to be a homeschool teacher to my kids. But I couldn’t make that work on the other path, obviously, and while I was thinking of teaching in a school, I couldn’t, either.
Now all of that is possible and will happen. I don’t know what will happen next. I have yet to marry and have kids, yet, after all. But I know one thing. I let go of, at least, potentially billions of dollars of assets, according to prophecy, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I’d rather be revered as a great father, husband, brother, and friend at the end of my life than remembered forever by the world as a business titan now. I’ve found myself. I’ve healed from my childhood wounds as a scapegoated child seeking validation and acceptance by vast empires and conquest. Most of all, I’ve survived narcissistic abuse and come out on the other side of it. Listening to myself for once and doing what I think is right, again, like when I originally quit college to pursue my goals for me, and not everyone else’s goals for me.
Conclusion
So, that’s the story of my life since the day before turning 13. How a simple goal of having a record label and singing career ballooned to an empire of 847+ businesses and 847+ nonprofits, and a micronation down to one teaching venture. My legacy will be my future children, my students, all of the lives I’ve touched as a without-walls minister and prophetic medium, and will continue to touch in those roles, and in my daily happenings. Now, that is a legacy worth having and focusing on building!
Comments
Post a Comment